Thursday, October 27, 2005

New Orleans Was Odd Before...

Let me see if you can guess which city I'm describing...

• Fast food restaurants pay their workers $10 an hour.
• There are 3 black people and many Mexicans.
• All the parks are massive garbage dumps.
• Everyone has a food stamp card in their wallet or purse.
• We yawn when we hear that Miami hasn't had power for a whopping four days - for many of us it's good news to hear that we may have power in 6-8 weeks.
• It is inconsequential to be seen drinking at a bar around noon... wait, that's normal.
• All the radio stations are broadcast from other cities.
• The people fear becoming Charleston.
• No one wants to answer this question first: "Are you coming back?" or "Are you going to rebuild?"
• People are stunned and upset to hear that a suburb is starting to enforce speed limits.
• The potential is there to lose a major business to a dumpy city like San Antonio.
• Donald Trump wants to build malls on top of this city's hurricane protection levees.
• No one flinches when they hear that Navy Seal teams shot over two thousand criminals and dumped their bodies into the river.
• Big news in town is when some crappy chain restaurant opens.
• Half the people are thrilled while the other half of the people are pissed to have a red sticker on their house.
• No one is concerned about drinking and driving.
• The city goes from a fairly high murder rate to probably the lowest in the country in a two month span.
• The only pop-ins you get at your house are from door-to-door salesmen.
• All intersections are four way stops, progress is a blinking red or yellow light.
• After you repaint, you're considering leaving the rescue markings on your front door.
• You separate your garbage into the following piles: (1) paints, pesticides, etc. (2) Wood furniture, drywall or plaster (3) organic debris (4) other furniture, clothing, common household debris (5) refridgerators or other appliances (6) cars, trucks, lawnmowers or other machinery... yet you don't recycle cans or plastic or paper.

Trust me... there are plenty more of these and I will do further installments.

9 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Man, That sounds like a kick ass place to live. I wanna move back home. $ way stops, drinking at noon, and Donald Trump levee malls...rock on!!! Keep your head up and give my love to the family.
Your coozan,
PJ "Caesar"

1:13 PM, October 27, 2005  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

What is so wrong with Charleston?

2:25 PM, October 27, 2005  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Nothing is wrong with Charleston, it is a wonderful city. BUT New Orleans is not Charleston and we dont want it to be turned into a Charleston like city. That may not make any sense to the person who asked "what is so wrong with Charleston?" , but us Louisiana folks know what i mean.

3:25 PM, October 27, 2005  
Blogger TAG said...

Personally I love Charleston... but New Orleans is not Charleston. No offense meant.

6:05 PM, October 27, 2005  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Charleston is awesome, and I will probably return there for a few years. Only thing I don't like about it, coming from New Orleans, is that you can't have a drink on the street!!! That is going to take some getting-used-to!

Cheers,
Riess

9:55 PM, October 27, 2005  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I do know what it means, having lived in NOLA for years before being displaced to Charleston. Actually, I think Charleston has a lot of what New Orleans lacked, before the storm, for example, cleanliness and friendlier people. For the sake of selling what I still own in NOLA, I hope it becomes more like this place in some ways (outrageously priced living quarters) and stays the same in others (I do miss taking drinks out of bars).

Howdy Reiss, how have you been?

Hope all is well,
Buzz

10:51 AM, October 28, 2005  
Blogger Antonio Gramsci said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

11:20 AM, October 28, 2005  
Blogger Antonio Gramsci said...

If anyone prefers Charleston over NOLA, then by all means please let him stay there. Nobody who works all the thankless service industry jobs in C'ton can afford to live there, so they are forced to commute in a place where they had the gall to shut down public transportation because the rich f*ckers in C'town didn't want to subsidize it. Yeah, pour my drinks and clean up my hotels but don't you dare think I'm gonna make it easy for you to live here!

Charleston sucks, period. It's a fake, conceited little town that has no charm or character, just a gentrified prettiness that I for one can do without!

11:44 AM, October 28, 2005  
Blogger Susi said...

My sister had no trouble getting an apartment in Algiers, and before that a room in a private home until she could find the apartment. Unfortunately the FEMA contractor had a messed up personnel office and she didn't get to go to work, so returned to FWB. Those are great pics of you yacht club. I like the list... keep them coming! I'm a fan!

3:01 PM, October 28, 2005  

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