Tuesday, November 29, 2005

Excerpts... Our Mood Ring Getting Black

The following are several quotes that I find very telling about the anger level that's rising in New Orleans...

• "There is a perception the rest of the country is uninterested," said New Orleans psychiatrist Candace Cutrone. "People are angry, disillusioned, indignant, insulted." from a Washington Post Article.

• "Can America, having witnessed the loss of well over 1,000 lives to Katrina, not rouse itself? Despite its problems, New Orleans remains one of our greatest cities, beloved of this country and the world. We are at the fulcrum of one-third of the nation's oil and gas and 40 percent of its seafood. We gave birth to much of this country's indigenous culture, and we continue to nourish it. What does it say about our civilization if this unique American metropolis is left to die?" Op-Ed piece in the Washington Post.

• "In the past 100 years America has gone to war to protect England, France, China, Korea, Australia, Canada, Poland, Norway, Vietnam and Iraq. If we are willing to spend hundreds of billions, even trillions, to protect and rebuild all these other peoples and territories, why won't we make a smaller commitment to protect our own people and territory?" Letter to the Editor of the Times-Picayune by Charlie and Gretchen Bosworth - 11/27/2005.

• The following is a an Op-Ed that was in today's Times-Picayune written by Angelica Kierdrowski that has some disturbing comments made to her while exiled in the Northeast.

And finally... another great letter to the Editor of the Times-Picayune taken from today:

We are not the first New Orleanians to have our unique treasured way of life threatened.

What could be more of a menace than the English of 1815? Or the Yellow Fever outbreaks of 1853? Or Farragut and Butler in 1862? As New Orleanians, for better or worse, we have inherited a long line of survivorship.

Therefore, I am a great proponent of rebuilding in every way and doing so with all the gusto and grit of the good New Orleanians of long ago. It will take nothing less than a similar spirit in the months and years ahead to save our city.

Such is the spirit of America. Such is the spirit of New Orleans.

Our city and our country - and all our future generations of New Orleanians as well - deserve nothing less from us. And if the city of New Orleans should last for a thousand years longer than expected, many will look back to our time and say that we New Orleanians were among the finest ever! - Vincent B. Liberto

Monday, November 28, 2005

Shop Locally - Help Save NOLA

How better to help the economic viability of New Orleans than to shop New Orleans!

Check out the following independent New Orleans retailers for all your holiday gift ideas...

New Orleans Restoration Stuff:
Renew New Orleans Wristbands
Fishbowl Famous Restoration T-shirts & Coffee Mugs
Save NOLA T-shirts
Abita Restoration Ale & Gear

Women's Clothing:
Total Woman
House of Lounge (lingerie (yeah you right!))
Jean Therapy (all those expensive jeans that you women love to buy)
LF Sportswear (funky Eruropean designers)

Men's Clothing:
Perlis (home of the crawfish polo shirt)
Style Lab

Cool NOLA T-shirts & Stuff:
Times-Picayune Images and the Hell or High Water T-Shirt

Help Support New Orleans Writers by ordering a subscription or some of these books:
New Orleans Magazine
French Quarter Fiction
Offbeat Music Magazine (All New Orleans, all the time)

Or better yet, give a membership to WWOZ as a gift this year!
WWOZ - The New Orleans Jazz & Heritage Station (100% Community Radio)

Children's Clothing:

Orient Expressed
Pippen Lane

Independent Bookstores:
Beaucoup Books

Katy Beh Designs
Mignon Faget
Ruby Ann Bertram-Harker
Sabai Jewelry Gallery

Cole Pratt Gallery
K. Slingluff Photo Designs
Moxy Studios

Thanks for shopping New Orleans... better yet, come on down and do your holiday shopping.

This is a very partial list and will be expanded soon... and trust me, I ain't getting a dime out of this - except that you'll be helping to keep my home alive. Thanks and Happy Holidays!

Sunday, November 27, 2005

What's In A Name... Post-K

BK/AK or is it pre-K/post-K?

The question is how do we relate life's tales from before and after Katrina? Blacks in New Orleans tend to favor the former while whites overwhelmingly use the latter. I personally use and love the pre and post version specifically because the pre-K shouts out that we really knew nothing before Katrina.

And why does this matter? The label really doesn't, but the usage does.

Katrina graduated us into a new world where we're being schooled on virtually every aspect of life whether it be re-understanding love of family to definitions of home or to how America will or won't take care of her own when they are in need.

In order to even convey a simple story, one of these terms must be applied because relating something as base as going to a grocery store and running into an issue with a clerk has a whole psychological sea change about it pre or post-K... the level of hilarity, frustration, idiocy - everything about the story is different and dependent on whether it took place before or after Katrina.

For example take the case of the issue with a grocery store clerk who doesn't understand why a pound of grapes is listed at 88 cents, yet when she rings it up it comes out to be $1.25 - the following are the variables one simply can eliminate from the story by saying pre-K:

• How close to the store closing times of 8pm was it when this took place.
• There are only three grocery stores open.
• There could be a brown-out about to happen and the registers are about to go down.
• Are there any other grapes in the city other than these?
• There are 70 people in line behind you.
• These are the first grapes you've seen in two months.

... and this doesn't even take into account your mental state while buying these grapes...

• Did you just find out that your insurance company has rejected your flood claim.
• Did some contractor run one of the ex-traffic lights and now four-way stop intersections and hit your car.
• Did your brother get arrested last night for not wearing a seat belt.
• Do you have seven people living in your shotgun house and one of them is a cranky old mother-in-law who's been demanding grapes.

... and that's just off the top of my head.

So yes, whether or not you use pre-K/post-K or BK/AK, it's damn necessary and the need for this new descriptor alone crystalizes the monumental event that has taken place in this city.

Saturday, November 26, 2005

New Orleanians 'Enhanced' By Katrina?

There was an interesting article today on MSNBC regarding how soldiers returning from Iraq as well as many previous wars tend to leave individuals with "feelings of spiritual development, improved relationships, a sense of personal strength, a better appreciation of life and new interests and priorities."

I personally can attest to some of that and then some. There absolutely is a new spirit in this town, one that has come from a shared experience of devastation and loss, but also one that is quickly mutating into one of "us against them" as we feel disregarded by our government and forced to deal with insane insurance companies or the Red Cross or tools such as Michael Brown and Tom Benson.

In fact, this "us against them" was even echoed in a letter to the editor of the Times Picayune today where one New Orleanian declared how Louisiana and in particular South Louisiana should secede from the union and become Saudi Acadiana.

I for one am actually interested in this line of thinking. We could join OPEC and then sell Louisiana's natural resources back to the states and use the gargantuan and obscene profits that the Federal Government now enjoys to rebuild and protect our own people - obviously America doesn't want to do it, so why not.

If the government is disfunctioning and unwilling to take the necessary strides to protect its citizens, isn't it our moral and rightful obligation to try and defend ourselves by whatever means necessary? Given how bankrupt our city and state is now, this may be the only logical step for us to be able to afford to protect ourselves.

And trust me, this 'enhanced' spirit down here and the anger that is brewing out of feelings of neglect and derision may very well lead to some creative, out-of-the-box thinking.

This is a new world down here.

Starbucks Responds

The following is the response I received to an email I sent to Starbucks regarding why not a single Starbucks location has re-opened in New Orleans...

Starbucks will reopen stores only if we are certain that we can provide our customers with the complete Starbucks Experience that they deserve and have come to expect from us. This entails that we take every measure to ensure the safety and security of those in our locations, appropriately staff the stores to serve our customers, and make certain that we have all the necessary supplies required to provide our customers with the customized handcrafted beverages and fresh pastries that they expect from Starbucks. Again, thank you for contacting Starbucks Coffee Company.



Starbucks Customer Relations

Right Starbucks... we know that you were getting your ass handed to you on a platter down here. New Orleanians just don't like your coffee and your failing marketshare was proof pre-K.

But to try and use Katrina as your justification for pulling out of this city is plain old wrong. Your company missed a huge opportunity to generate goodwill with the people of this city - every business that has opened is showered with money and profits down here. The restaurants, coffeeshops and businesses to first open in the city are now fondly entrenched in our hearts and will always be supported by New Orleanians.

So many businesspeople understood that - unfortunately many did not, and they still don't get it.

Thursday, November 24, 2005

I thought about giving y'all my maw maw's recipe for oyster dressing, but then i'd have to kill all of you. Happy thanksgiving.

Wednesday, November 23, 2005

Already Defeated, Starbucks Uses Katrina As An Excuse To Pull Out Of New Orleans

Normally a successful predator, Starbucks has yet to reopen a single coffeeshop in New Orleans nearly 3 months Post-K and are undoubtably going to use Katrina as an excuse to pull out of the city that rejected their crappy coffee.

By the third week Post-K, I was getting coffee from a local PJ's and trust me, that little touch of civilization was one of my fondest memories from that first month. Since then, nearly every local independent has reopened and are pouring their way back to financial success.

So where's Starbucks? They did make an effort, at least publically, to support the rebuilding efforts on the Gulf Coast and have reopened many stores in the areas surrounding New Orleans, but not a single location in the city. Their union is even curious about this.

Oh well, I guess they know when they've been beaten... but don't worry Starbucks, we down here know it had nothing to do with Katrina.

POL Group Tells New Orleans - We Told You So

The odd skateboarding group Pave Our Lake whose goals were, well to obviously pave over the lake in order to create a 630 square mile skate park has finally chimed in regarding Hurricane Katrina. The following statement was culled from NOYC's message board...

Pave Our Lake Spokesman: "Told You So."

Weeks after Hurricane Katrina left New Orleans in a state of chaos and ruin, the Pave Our Lake movement is adding its voice to the growing criticism of the city, state, and federal officials.

"We told you so," said spokesman Wayne Boudreaux at a press conference on Wednesday afternoon.

"For years we've been printing thousands of bumper stickers warning the citizens of New Orleans about the risks posed by Lake Pontchartrain," Mr. Boudreaux continued. "Unfortunately, our warnings went unheeded. And we've all witnessed the tragic results."

"If the citizens of New Orleans had only listened to us, there would have been no water to break the 17th Street and London Canal levees. In fact, the lake could have been used as a staging area for rescue operations inside the flooded city."

In response to the floods caused by Katrina, the group has proposed new initiatives designed to protect the below-sea-level city.

"Paving the spillway, the Mississippi River, and the Industrial Canal could protect the city against a Category 5 hurricane," explained Boudreaux. "We look forward to working with officials planning the reconstruction of New Orleans in the months and years to come."

This is to me a great example of thinking outside of the box. Maybe the skateboarders were on to something. It would actually be cheaper than Tim Kusky's idea of relocating an entire city...

Monday, November 21, 2005

Tim Kusky Replies To My Email

Professor Tim Kusky, who's expertise is in "ophiolites, rock sequences that formed on the oceanic edge of tectonic plates, in the Archaen eon about 3 billion years ago" and not natural disasters, and who was interviewed on 60 Minutes last night stating that New Orleans should be abandoned, replied to an email I sent to him last night...

Hi Troy,

Thank you for your e-mail. I understand your concerns about the comments I made on this week's 60 Minutes program on CBS. However, I firmly stand behind the opinion that I stated.

For years, scientists have warned that a large hurricane would bring many problems for New Orleans. Hundreds of scientific studies and surveys support the fact that New Orleans is subsiding even farther below sea level. The maps that I referred to in the 60 Minutes story were U.S. government maps showing significant erosion in New Orleans' land mass in just 24-36 hours after Katrina.

The United States Geological Survey also supports this fact. In 2000, Dr. Chip Groat, director of the United States Geological Survey (USGS) in Washington, D.C., warned that "With the projected rate of subsidence (the natural sinking of land), wetland loss, and sea level rise, New Orleans will likely be on the verge of extinction by this time next century." You can read more on the USGS Web site: http://coastal.er.usgs.gov/gc-subsidence/.

I have studied geological sciences for more than 20 years and have written numerous books, journal articles and magazine articles on the topic. In my 2003 book Geological Hazards, I addressed this very issue. Unfortunately, I feel that all of these warnings fell on deaf ears.

I understand this is a tumultuous time for New Orleans and its residents. However, I believe this is the proper time to be asking questions about the rebuilding process. While I realize that this is a sensitive topic, I spoke out because of my concern for the residents of New Orleans. It is my hope that the scientific communities' research and observations will help save lives in the future.

Thank you for taking the time to write and express your opinion. I think we can agree that we both want what is best for the citizens of New Orleans.


Timothy Kusky, Ph.D.
Paul C. Reinert Professor of Natural Sciences
Department of Earth and Atmospheric Sciences
Saint Louis University

I appreciate that he took the time to have a research assistant email me back, but that still does not explain why he would espouse such beliefs regarding New Orleans and not have similar feelings regarding every city on the west coast in an earthquake zone, most cities on the Gulf Coast (including Houston which is also sinking) and throughout the southeastern United States.

Yes, we AND the Federal Government have known for 30 years or longer about the subsidence issues in southeast Louisinana, all of which were primarily caused by the Federal Government trying to tame the Mississippi River and by big oil who was allowed to dredge out channels through the marshes which allowed saltwater intrusion.

If I remember correctly, many billions of dollars was spent on rebuilding Lake Okechobee and the surrounding marshes in Florida, and they do not even have oil, seafood and one of the most important ports in America attached to it.

So why are we the ones getting the shaft? New Orleans and Louisiana's importance to the growth of this country as a whole is of dire importance... ask any farmer up in the midwest if they'd care to truck their products to one of the other coasts or would this country prefer to have offshore drilling off the coasts of Florida or an even larger presence off the coast of California.

The answer to all of that is I'm positive, no.

It's is also worth taking note that the Italians are actually trying to save Venice and the Dutch have for years worked on flood control for their low-lying country... yet, the most powerful nation on the planet wants to potentially abandon half a state and a major city... very curious.

Sunday, November 20, 2005

60 Minutes Report... Tim Kusky Wildly Innapropriate

This afternoon 60 Minutes will air a completly lopsided and biased report from a so called 'disaster' expert who claims that New Orleans should be eliminated as a city because she is slowly slipping into the sea.

Tim Kusky, a professor at St. Louis University, who's research is the primary focus of the report, happens to live and work in St. Louis which lies directly on the New Madrid fault line, which is sure to one day have a major earthquake.

His research on New Orleans has been described thusly: "...an undergraduate paper that should get a low grade."

I again reitterate, what should we all do, move to Kansas where it's safe? Shouldn't we get everyone off the west coasts because there WILL one day be a major earthquake there? Shouldn't we clear out St. Louis as they too will one day have a major earthquake?

** After watching the 60 Minutes broadcast I will say that overall the report was in fact fair except for that idiot Kusky.

He reminds me of this tool that I heard on NPR who was down here sightseeing the devastation and was simply walking into people's homes to take photographs. Who the heck do these people think they are coming down here into our homes and trying to take a picture or make a name for themselves. Go back to Missouri and sit on your fault line Kusky and pray that a major earthquake doesn't hit your home and I come up there and say, yeah bulldoze his house and ship him off to some other damn place. Think about that.

Friday, November 18, 2005

Dixie Beer... Done?

Located on Tulane Ave. in Mid-City and completely inundated by the floods, Dixie Brewery, a New Orleans landmark and institution, by a strange twist of insurance fate may be no more.

The brewery lost its 100 million dollar insurance policy in August pre-K and without those funds - that beer will probably never pour again.

So don't open that Dixie Beer... it may be one of the last ones around.

Wednesday, November 16, 2005

The Bird Finger(s)

Here's a fun graphic I made to explain to everyone how even in such small ways our lives have changed down here in New Orleans.

As I said on an earlier post, the vast majority of our traffic lights no longer work in this city because most of the city is still without power. As such, all major and intermediate intersections have become 4-way stops. Well, of course not everyone heeds these new rules because there is no one enforcing traffic laws of any sort in this city.

To wit, the way we now signal displeasure to our fellow drivers has changed. See diagram A below.

Diagram A

Clarification On Why Emeril Lagasse Is A Carpet Bagger

For starters, Emeril moved down to New Orleans from his native Massachusetts and learned everything he knows from working in some of the best kitchens in this city. His first restaurants were here in New Orleans and this is where his 'name' originated.

Yet, as New Orleans wallowed in 12 feet of water and sporadically burned, as her people were forced to flee their homes and beloved city, as 1,076 New Orleanians perished (the count - so far), Emeril Lagasse fired all of his employees and then continued on his book tour.

This man who gained SO much from this city sat around in bookstores and signed his name thousands of times and still to this day has yet to reopen a single restaurant, all the while the Brennans and many other independent restaurants fed the national guard and rescue workers for free.

Within a few weeks several restaurants re-opened to hordes of New Orleanians who were mentally drowning for any semblance of normality and civility, even if that came from sitting down at upper end restaurants and being able to chose between chicken fingers and hamburgers... and New Orleanians have rewarded these restaurants, owners and service by continuing to flock to these brave and forward thinking establishments. They, to this day are making cash hand over fist and rightly so. We have become VERY loyal to these restaurants.

So where is Emeril?

Signing a damn book somewhere?

Thanks for all the help Emeril. In our time of need, you could have in the damn least used your fame to try and help your 'adopted' city... but what did you do, and what are you doing now?

Signing another damn book somewhere?

Actually, I don't think anyone down here really cares anymore.

Thanks for nothing Emeril. Glad we could help you out though bud.

ps... yes I have read the 'notification' on Emeril's website, but the people that I know that worked for Emeril have never been contacted. Even if it is true - where the hell has he been?

Here is the Times Picayune article expressing displeasure at Emeril one month ago...

Tuesday, November 15, 2005

State of New Orleans: Chaotic Neutral

Eleven weeks after Hurricane Katrina landed on our vanishing shore I can give y'all the following update...

Signs of progress:
• Clean-up of debris from in front of homes in some neighborhoods is progressing nicely, but there is always more... everyday there are new piles of debris.
• The state of Louisiana has taken over virtually the entire Orleans Parish School System... This is a VERY good thing.
• There is talk of eliminating the Orleans Levee Board.
• Shell Offshore is sounding as they may return to New Orleans (This is because a large percentage of Shell employees are Europeans - and Europeans hate Houston).
• If you squint while Uptown, in the French Quarter or in the Garden District it appears that everything is kind of normal... the exception being the huge general contractor convention that's in town.
• Major crime has dropped down to virtually nil.
• There are a lot of bars open.
• Well... that's about it for signs of progress.

Negative/Neutral Signs:
• Our electric company has gone into bankruptcy and is not receiving any assistance from FEMA... interesting, didn't the feds bail out our major airlines to the tune of several billion dollars after 9/11? Without a bailout... this entire city may go dark in a month.
• Our electric company has sent out electric bills to everyone that is sometimes 6x their normal bill even though many STILL don't have electricity.
• Under 3,000 individuals out of many many thousands of applicants have been approved for SBA Loans.
• Most stoplights still are not functioning - we are a city of four way stops, even at MAJOR intersections.
• The estimated population of this city is hovering around 100,000 - that's down from 450,000.
• Tom Benson is still trying to steal the Saints away from this city.
• Rumours abound that George Shinn, the owner of the New Orleans Hornets who are currently playing in Oklahoma City, may just keep them there.
• Ruth's Chris Steakhouse's corporate headquarters, which was founded in New Orleans, has fled the city for Orlando and may not even reopen the original restaurant.
• Emeril Lagasse, who built his reputation off this city and who has made a fortune off of this, plans to not open ANY of his restaurants in New Orleans and will move his corporate headquarters elsewhere. He has also fired all of his employees. What a tool.
• The New Orleans Fire Department was forced to lay off 1/3 of its firemen.
• Jefferson Parish plans to lay off 1/3 of its workforce.
• The state of Louisiana received a bill for 3.7 billion dollars from FEMA... basically almost a third of our yearly budget, when we already have a shortfall of a billion dollars this year alone caused by Katrina.
• Virtually every insurance company is refusing to issue homeowners policies in southern Louisiana including New Orleans, which means that no one can sell a home in southern Louisiana - remember that you can't get a mortgage unless you can get homeowners insurance.
• With all the heavy clean-up equipment cruising around, our streets are turning into jello.
• The feds are still only saying that they are going to rebuild our levees to withstand a Cat 3. This is unfortunate because most major New Orleans businesses will not return unless the Army Corps of Engineers and the U.S. Government decide that they want to protect its citizens.
• The Dutch kick America's ass in providing flood protection for her citizens... read more about this here.

I have to stop here because I'm just getting depressed listing all of this. We're basically fucked down here unless the Federal Government decides that it really does care about its own citizens and decides to become visionary... So basically we're fucked.

Naw... not really. The people of this city will go it alone. Hey Republicans, Democrats and Bush why don't you go ahead and just tell us the truth that you ain't going to help us so we can stop hoping.

Saturday, November 12, 2005

Sorry no camera, but we have a burro and a horse tied up outside st. Joe's bar on magazine street. mardi gras beginning early.

Friday, November 11, 2005

Secret Government?

One thing is for sure, in the aftermath and devastation of Hurricane Katrina we can truly dispel the notions of the X Files and right wing militias that FEMA was secretly trying to take over the country and the world. What a crock of hilarious shit. These people couldn't take control over their own orgasm.

From distributing only four or five trailers to the many, many thousands of homeless people in this city or to using a separate company to distribute the keys to these same trailers who then never even show up to deliver the keys thereby forcing people to break into their own trailers, it is painfully obvious that this government agency is quite simply idiotic.

In fact, it is outrageously obvious that we the people of New Orleans are being left to hang by this government period.

We are struggling to rebuild, but while we try and rebuild our homes and businesses, the government dallies over red tape, insurance agencies will not answer phone calls, and other cities stripmine us of our businesses.

This is not an opportunity for other cities to grow. We're your fucking neighbors and countrymen for Christ's sake. We need help to stand back up.

This country is spending 8 billion dollars a MONTH in Iraq, yet bickers about whether or not to even help us to get street lights up and running - barely a seventh of the city has electricity.

Please write your senators and congressmen and plead for them to help us to rebuild our levees our city and our faith in this country.

Thursday, November 10, 2005

this is an audio post - click to play

Wednesday, November 09, 2005

After laying off a third of nola fire dept today, virtually every nofd truck and fireman is meeting at the whole foods on magazine.

Tuesday, November 08, 2005

On Looking Forward To Becoming Trailer Trash

In the desert wastes of Lakeview, we haven't had rain since Hurricane Rita, I yearn for my FEMA trailer.

I look forward with anticipation to that sweet symbol of American respite post disasters docked up in my front yard. Hopefully it arrives before Christmas, in order that I can dangle Christmas lights off of the roof and then leave them there year round.

I will set up a little entertaining area out front in the flood detritus replete with folding chairs and an ice chest as table. Maybe a pink flamingo to welcome guests and passerbys.

And I will, or at least I have set this goal for myself, to have the first crawfish boil in Lakeview post-K.

The sad thing is... that I am actually looking forward to this... How things have changed.

Sunday, November 06, 2005

Dwi's no more. Cheers from st. Joe's.

Saturday, November 05, 2005

What I Will Wear (Eventually) In My Grave

If you want to continue showing your support for the plight of New Orleans and her people, I urge you to order a Renew New Orleans bracelet. All proceeds will go towards education and the arts in New Orleans. Your donation is tax deductible.


Amidst The Rubble

New Orleans Yacht Club opened its bar to the membership, the sailing community and the National Guard last night from 4-8 pm. In a club that sustained incredibly moderate damage in comparison to Southern and our friends elsewhere on the Gulf Coast and located 100 yards from the 17th Street Canal breach, nearly cold beer was sold and consumed.

Like so many boats still lying in waste and among the quiet of the once full trophy cases the thick smell of sailing talk and lies resumed in the generator powered bar. It's amazing how many boats received a first in class, first in fleet in the last Wednesday Night race five days pre-K... For a fact, I know it was The Reason Why and we were good and beery that night... now that should quell all that talk.

With the 8pm curfew looming and the need to drive through many miles of darkened destroyed streets, the Fish Boat Championship trophy was presented before the club. "Even though this city has been leveled by a hurricane, doesn't mean that we don't stop racing!"

The one major takeaway I can give you regarding the state of the sailing community in New Orleans is what was told to me by Riley Stognier... and I reasonably quote here:

"What we discovered from Katrina is that we were no where near to racing our J/35 hard enough. That boat survived that bitch, we'll never put a storm jib up again."

Friday, November 04, 2005

My New Favorite Post Katrina Story

It was the middle of the third week post-K, and a group of New Orleans women were boozing it up in Jefferson Parish, and after running out of cash (no ATM's) because of paying $20 a six pack for Corona beer they hatched a plot to retrieve $200 in cash from the art gallery that they owned in order to continue the party. Problem is it was 12:30am and the gallery was in Orleans Parish under curfew and lockdown.

So two bodacious and damn good looking blonds hopped in their car and headed up River Road. Within minutes they hit an 82nd Airborne checkpoint. Acting all hysterical to the soldiers, explaining that they had priceless historical artwork which had to be retrieved and working the fact that most of these troops hadn't seen a woman in awhile, they were unbelieveably allowed to pass.

Driving through the pitch black city they were eventually followed by a white suburban which was probably filled with Blackwater Mercs - frightened now, they recklessly sped down Prytania St. until they came apon a military base at a school.

They then pleaded with some National Guardsmen to escort them to the gallery to retrieve these items. After checking with a superior officer, several soldiers were given clearance to escort the young women with two humvees to the art gallery.

The girls then went inside and retrieved the what turns out to be $150 and some dinky painting to cover their story, returned to their car and then were escorted out of the city by the soldiers who waved goodbye at the parish line.

They then went out to a bar and resumed drinking.

Now that is a true New Orleans beer run.

Thursday, November 03, 2005

Credible Sourced Rumours

Alright here we go...

• Verification has come in regarding the overwhelming number of people that were killed by US military sniper teams in the aftermath of Katrina. The exact number count is shady at best, but does run upwards to 2,000. The Mississippi River and holes in Bayou Segnette State Park are the overwhelming areas for body disposal.

• The military, FBI and NOPD Swat Teams can also be credited with the outrageous drop in crime in this city. One of the methods is if they see a group of black men loitering around on the street, they approach with guns raised, take names and say "If we see you guys hanging around again tomorrow, you're getting shipped out of the city. There's too much work in this city for you to be hanging out on a corner." And they mean it.

• Ordinary citizens are also taking back their city from crime. One week ago a man was found shot to death in Mid-City. He had an "L" painted on his forehead. "L" stands for looter.

The people in this city have been through too much to put up with crime in any form. Welcome to the Wild Wild Delta.

Tom Benson Is A Douche Bag

and that's being generous.

Hey Tommy, I understand that you are now boycotting Baton Rouge, well guess what fucker, you haven't been welcome in New Orleans for a while.

The NFL and Tagliabue need to go ahead and start whatever process is necessary to force this idiot out of the NFL completely. Hell Rita I'll even accept you taking over the team if you wise up and put your granddaddy in a nursing home in San Antonio.

Tommy you're at the end of your rope.

Tuesday, November 01, 2005

Halloween In New Orleans

Some things don't change...

Here's a few interesting notes from last night:

• There is actually a Post-K New Orleans City Government job title called "Bad Ass Mother Fucker" - seriously, I saw the government badge.
• Absinthe is good for you... but I actually already knew that.
• I truly can not wait for Krewe du Vieux.
• Coolest bumper sticker in town: "New Orleans, Proud To Swim Home"
• The sexiest thing in the world are women with hot pink hair.

Anyway, it was a good night. The crowds were a little light, but there was live music everywhere. A very necessary party.

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